As some of you may know, part of my testimony is about the precious time I wasted being sad and depressed at night when my head hit that pillow.
You may ask yourself how anyone can be ok at certain times and not ok at other times. It's just like anything else. A person can smoke at work and not want to touch another cigarette any other time of the day. Or a person may work-out while on vacation, but as soon as they get back home the last thing they want to see is a treadmill. It's about turning our emotions on and off whenever the time is convenient for us.
And that's a dangerous game we play with ourselves.
It's a cop-out and it's a form of giving up, because we don't want to do what it takes to get the blessings. We don't want to be consistent. And we don't really want to give our problems over to God. We say we want all those things, but we don't, because we're doing nothing to get them. So we resort to doing easy when easy won't get us anywhere. I wasted alot of time thinking somehow my pain and heartache would get better if I thought about them more (I wasn't doing anything else to fix myself). I could have written so much more back then, but I sat on my gifts by feeling sorry for myself. It pains me to admit that, but it's true and I didn't realize it until I was out of that funk. This is the part 1 and in part 2 I will tell you exactly how I did it.
I'm taking this time and writing these words to tell you to snap out of it. God has heard your cries and He knows them all too well. Crying won't change a thing, take it from me. All it will do is keep you down and out when the same people who hurt you are living life to the fullest. And guess what? They deserve to. They are God's people too and maybe just maybe they gave all their mess-ups and mistakes to God (repented) and forgave themselves, and maybe they even want to apologize to you. Yet how can they when you're all bent up and twisted into a shell of nothingness? Look, I'm not criticizing or condemning. I would have a lot of nerve to do that. I'm just telling you what I wished someone would have told me (or at least earlier than when I was told). Imagine it like Paul (1 Corinthians 1) when he went around speaking to people. He wasn't a sugar-coating type of person. He loved the people, yet he knew they needed to know what was up.
I just don't want you to go through what I went through. I don't want you to waste time like I did. I pray you will use your time a lot wiser and smarter than I did. I want better for you.
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