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Armor of God

The armor of God is our protection
When I lost my twin boys 5 months in utero, some people thought I should get over it immediately. 

You know why some people think they have a right to tell you how to feel about trauma? Because it never happened to them. But, God will strengthen you in time to be able to use your pain for His glorious gain. Stay with Him and you will help many people.

While time has made dealing with my pain and suffering easier (it's been over 24 years), I will always have a sad spot in my heart about what happened and how it happened. I still have good days and bad days and that's ok (over time the good days far outnumber the bad days). Besides the pain of losing my precious bundles of joy, it was also clear medical negligence on the part of the medical staff. Yet, I decided back then that I would not wallow in my grief and that I had to forgive the medical staff. To forgive meant I refused to walk around with hate inside of me -- that would have been an even harder and more difficult burden to carry.

Would that bring them back? Nope. Wallowing and unforgiveness are counter-productive. They don't help matters. In other words, I wouldn't allow the grief and suffering to consume my life. I had to go on. Was it easy? Of course not, but now I'm writing about it to you, to let you know that I know what pain feels like (but that's just the tip of the iceberg, soon I'll tell you about my parents passing away on the same day and the same year). 

I'm just here to tell you that you can get through trauma and pain. You can be happy and healthy. In fact, it's a must to push yourself to do just that. That proves your faith that God will have His way in how you will help others. Let Him use you. Let Him use your pain. Helping others is also your help.

God has great things for you to say and do as a result of that pain and suffering. It wasn't for nothing.

What my relationship with God has continued to prove to me is that as I continue to seek Him in my grief and talk to him in my suffering, He enables the grief and suffering to dissipate to the point where some people may wonder if I ever grieved or suffered at all. Listen, if it were up to me I would sometimes just lay around all day and just think about nothing or everything, because that's sometimes easier than dealing with the things that happened or didn't happen. The devil is a liar.

I refuse easy. I refuse to live a life of misery. I flat out reject any notion of that. I will fight to the bitter end. I won't concern myself with what people think or say. That's a waste of time. I will push through and continue on no matter what, because there's much work to do. Don't let the devil steal your joy. Although we suffered a loss, we're still here for a reason and many lives will be saved, because of it.

When we accept God we are in a position to hear clearly from Him, gain more power, stand strong, and help others in spite of our pain and suffering. In fact, it is that very pain and suffering that makes us stronger. And it's because of that strength that we are fully equipped to wear the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Now, that's power.

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